If I'm ever made President
The corridors of power, packed with intoxicated men
Will quake with my every Prada-shod step.
With compassion over dominion,
The age of absolute power will be over.

If I'm ever made President
Maternity leave shall be compulsory and fully paid
No mother will have to go out to work
Because she has to.

If I'm ever made President
War will be redundant, nuclear stations for energy only.
Soldiers put to work fighting poverty
To build and not destroy.

If I'm ever made President
Elections will be free and fair, I'll lose with grace, concede with ease
Put on Jimmy Choo shoes and dance the night away
At the next inaugural ball.